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Thursday, July 7, 2016

Three Years Already and Still Going

Only a place named Square One would have its name spread out on a curved surface

Today, July 07, 2016, confirms that three years, 1096 days (I used calculator because I don't keep count) have passed since my life-changing brush with death and experience with cardiac arrest; life-changing because nothing is ever the same afterward.

Against my wishes and best efforts since, a haunting "What if" always lurks in the shadows my mind. From birth, the reality of a finite life span has always been this way, but living in that subconscious balm of automatic human denial of such a possibility of expiry had always made life easier. That's gone now. Again, surviving cardiac arrest is life-changing and no day is ever the same afterward.

Life is a precious gift and I truly cherish each new day that I awaken to see and live in; this daily awareness is far more acute. A genuine gratitude and sincere thanksgiving to God are always and unavoidably foremost; before they were only thought of when selfishly convenient to remember. Instead, I was given a firm reminder to humbly breathe in like air rather than only occasionally think about what I have always said I believed.

Except for very early mornings, this current heat-wave has precluded my going out to walk around the neighbourhood over my usual routes as I have been doing diligently for the last almost three years.

Anyway, this morning I did something different; really stepping out of character and out of my comfort zone. Upon my own initiative rather that following a suggestion, I drove over to Square One before store opening time because I wanted to do some walking. Yesterday I had to drive Kie to the Apple store there, so I did have a practice session yesterday.

Square One's spacious passageways were far from busy and being crowded but I did have constant company everywhere I went. 

"They're all old people." I thought first, and then realized I was no different at all from them.

Honestly, I felt like an old man wandering aimlessly around a huge shopping mall filled with stores, stores all catering to a world of young people who I am now decades separated from, who are living in this changing world that I no longer know or understand. Somehow those unsmiling but not necessarily unfriendly expressions on the faces of the seniors I encountered seemed to reflect this sombre realization I had been pondering.

I brisquely but not recklessly walked my one mile plus a bit more and then promptly departed for home where I'm now coolly sequestered inside.

This morning the iPhone confirms I have logged 1908 miles since installing the Nike+ Running App and commenced using it on November 22, 2013. Notwithstanding the app's name, I have never run; only walked.

Morning's rising heat aside, I'm truly glad to be here to see this quickly passing new day of life that God has again granted to Kie and me to live in.

Deo Gratias,

The Oddblock Station Agent


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