Totally Nuts Over Walnuts

Last year I read this news item when it was news, and I laughed, (if you’re curious see link down there) only because my neighbour has a large walnut tree, and in all the prior 31 years I've never had a squirrel or walnut problem with my car.

 

https://www.powernationtv.com/post/man-finds-over-150-pounds-of-walnuts-hidden-in-his-truck

 

Year 32 reality check:

 

This image below was not from last year's news article nor from last year's news, because I recorded this image below on October 3, 2022, after checking under the hood... because I was hearing weird noises coming from the car's engine.

 

First thought: no one will ever believe this, even if I grab an image or two, so I asked Kie to come out and see for herself what I'd discovered and wish I hadn't... but now I have a witness.

SURPRISE!
I can't print what I thought at first, but it wasn't all that much.

This is the stuff one is supposed to read online in those sensational news items, not real-life discover in one's own car parked in the driveway. Now I've experienced both the news reader's perspective as well as the rodent victim's perspective, and I can tell you the latter is...

ALVIN!!!

So there.  

I've just lived my very own Alvin moment, but then I remembered that Alvin is a chipmunk and not that noisy, prime suspect red squirrel I’d been seeing around here. 

Close enough though.

A close-up of the left side

Close-up of the right side

In fact, upon seeing this and feeling overwhelmed by nuts, an early thought that jumped to mind was that famous answer General McAuliffe gave to the German Commander back in December 1944, when the U.S. forces were in surrounded Bastogne and the General was solicited to surrender... 

NUTS!

I know this stuff and I'm not even an American, maybe because I was starting to feel surrounded by enemies… them devious and furry 4-footed rodent kind.

 

The day's final tally

A useful tidbit about an amazing tool...

That forked item resting atop the walnuts will extend to about 30 inches, because it's made for roasting wieners, marshmallows, or whatever, over a fire. 

 

I've never used this tool for roasting anything (I wish I had a squirrel right now) but it's perfect for skewering walnuts deep down in those impossible to reach into recesses of a car engine.

If you ever need one of these forks, you can obtain it from Lee Valley Tools. 

Four days later and a new headache

On October 7^th morning, Kie and I were driving to a nearby food store for groceries and we passed by a crew working on the road. Afterward, we both smelled something burning so we assumed the source must’ve been the roadwork.

 

When we reached the store, we still smelled burning, so I parked the car well away from other vehicles and donned the pair of work gloves I keep on board.

Upon opening the hood I was expecting the possibility of finding more walnuts, but not this...

The top of the car engine had been stuffed and covered with rodent nesting now smoldering, which I pulled away as some of it burst into flame. 

Fortunately disaster was avoided and nothing under the hood was damaged.

 

Upon discovering this cache of grass, rags, paper and shredded insulation, I was inclined to believe the culprit behind this new mess is a rat rather than a squirrel.

October 9^th and Rodent Interrupted...

Two days later I discovered the pest had returned to begin again, and a large patch of the car’s hood insulation had been shredded and spread.

As well, more grass was replaced by that 4-footed pest and would-be car arsonist. 

 

Food for thought: Why does that stuff up there look like something one would get at a health-food store?

­

No, this isn't some strange NASA image of the lunar surface, because it's the rodent-shredded insulation on the inside of the hood of my vehicle.

 

Here's another view that places the damage into perspective.

October 10^th

A strange turn of events... and a very welcomed one at that.

 

By now I’d figured out that I should be checking under the hood every day… just in case.

 

Sure enough when I checked, I discovered what appeared at first to be more shredded fluff, until I noticed the red part and looked more closely.

A dead rat wedged in the engine. 

I really wish I knew what caused that wound and killed this pest… ‘cause it works! 

 

Maybe it ended up slicing itself open on that exposed wire. Might’ve been the loser in a turf-war with the red squirrel.

Here’s that dead rat (gored-side down on the ground) after I removed it.

This thing was eight inches (tail not included) and dwarfed the rat traps I’d set, thus leaving me wondering whether or not today’s rat traps are big enough to handle the job they’re supposed to do.

 

Through the ensuing four weeks I set out 4 rat traps beside and under the front of the car but only caught one additional large rat and a single mouse.

 

What I have learned through trial and frustration is that rats can remove the bait without triggering the trap. I now reset the traps with fresh bait which I’ve glued to the triggers and now the rats shun the traps. They’re certainly not a stupid adversary.

 

I’ve also discovered that rat traps are really good for catching mice… and one size really does fit all.

And the Beating Goes On…

 

That probably should be, “And the Beat Goes On” but for goof-order* let’s include the gerund. 

 

Every time I think I’ve found and removed the last of the walnuts, I find more of them. It drives me… might as well just say nuts.

*(That up there was a typo, but goof-order probably makes more sense than good-order, so I’ve left it as is) 

October 12 , 2022

Here are a few more walnuts I discovered in the dark, lower recesses of the engine and then extricated. 

 

Anyway, if you’re curious and would like something to do, you could count these for me, because I lost count after reaching 3 dozen while I was busy extricating them.

October 13 , 2022

Some of the 21 additional walnuts I found and extracted this day.

Would I be labelled an insensitive anti-wildlife extremist criminal and cursed at if I said I hated rodents?

Of course I would in this foolish, woke-ravaged insane society we dwell in today.

 

Well too bad, because I detest seeing rats and mice running around outside of my home, and I'll do whatever I need to do to work at exterminating those hated pests.

 

 

La Pièce de Résistance

 

Seeing that the Christmas season is almost upon us once again, I’ve decided to change a few lines in that old chestnut of a song to make it a little more fitting for this tome. After all, the song starts out with nuts.

 

Thus for the record, I’m of course referring to that familiar old Mel Tourme song known best as, “Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire” 

 

Therefore…

 

If you know the tune, and you’re in the mood for singing, then feel free to sing along with these relevant new alternations. 

 

 

Walnuts roasting under open hood

And with rodents one and two

Curbside curses being said by a few

With neighbours certain he’s nuts too.

 

(Enough… so’ we’ll just press pause here and come back in at the ending)

 

And so, I'm asking you this simple thing

To all from one to ninety-two.

Although it's not phrased many ways many times

I hate rodents. Do you?

 

(Sorry Mel)

 

Merry Christmas to all, and to all, a rodent-free good night!

 

The Oddblock Station Agent

Ted Morrison

Edward Alexander Morrison 

August 19, 1955 - March 17, 2018

Today, August 19, 2022, would've been Ted's 67th birthday, but 67 of life years weren't given to him.

His given name was Edward, but he was Ted to everyone who knew him.

In those few days between Christmas 2017 and New Year's Day 2018, Ted was unwell and admitted to the hospital in Hawkesbury, Ontario. During his brief hospital stay, Ted was informed his ailment was an aggressive form of late-stage lung cancer, and too far advanced for treatment. Worse, he was given only 3 to 6 months to live.

Ted called me after he received his bad news, the worst news anyone could be given. Nonetheless he sounded ambivalent and seemed to accept whatever he'd been told. 

Ted was like that. He wasn't a complainer... but he was someone who rarely revealed his feelings, and maybe to a fault. Regardless, Ted sounded upbeat. In hindsight I'm sure he was in denial, but all I could do was listen in silence. I had no words of comfort to offer him... and I wished I did.

2

Ted (left) and me. Scene likely dates from early 1956.

3

Ted (left) and me during winter 1956-57.

These two images were recorded in Montreal, however, I'm uncertain if the park was in Outremont or Cote des Neiges. We were living on Barclay Avenue at the time, but our father's parents resided in Outremont.

 

I'm unable to recall anything about the day these two scenes were recorded, even after staring at and pondering the old images, but seeing Ted in that one-piece zip-up snowsuit, I do recall another incident.

Ted was wearing that snowsuit when we were in the Milan train station waiting for the afternoon westbound train. At the time, the Milan station was still manned by an agent, and a small, red-hot wood/coal-burning stove was in the center of the waiting room to keep it warm. 

 

Needless to say, Ted and I became restless and started running around. Anyway, Ted stopped to rest and leaned against the hot stove. When Mom screamed at him to get off, Ted started running around, leaving a trail of smoke behind him. He'd burned off the back of his snowsuit.

 

Ted wasn't hurt and the two of us were laughing our heads off because of the smoke trail. From that moment until the train arrived, Mom and Dad were doing everything they could to keep Ted and me from placing our backsides on that hot stove and repeat Ted's stunt.

4

 

Ted without a care in the world back in March 1958

5

Ted and me in summer 1958 visiting in Scotstown, Quebec

6

Ted (right) and I posed in front of Dad's ancient Chevrolet. This scene was recorded in Autumn 1958 outside our grandparents' home in Milan, Quebec.

6A

Ted at the back door of the woodshed of my grandparents' home

6B

Ted (right) and me in 1958. This scene too was recorded in Milan, Quebec, at the former fox ranch. 

7

Ted holding a kitten

7B

8

Ted (left) and me in summer 1960 

8A

Ted - likely taken in1962

A Christmas card Ted made

Mom kept Ted's card all these decades, and was among Mom's items given to me a few weeks ago to sort through. 

These many decades later I can only wonder what was in Ted's thoughts when he made the card, because the colours and the scene are so different from those we usually associate with Christmas.

9

   

Christmas dinner 1965. Ted is on the right wearing glasses, Alan next to him and Kathy across the table.

10

Ted (right) in summer 1967 at the Sarampus Falls picnic site on Highway 26 in Maine

11

Ted's high school yearbook photo - Riverdale 1973
Ted's photo is the only one I've ever seen mis-named in our high school yearbooks... 
because he was mis-named as Tim.

12
   

Ted in summer 1984 in Bainsville, Ontario.

13

Ted holding Kimberly during our visit to Bainsville in summer 1984

14
   

Ted & Sylvie during a visit they made to North Hatley, Quebec, in summer 1984
In retrospect, the best years of Ted's life were those years he spent with Sylvie.

15

Ted fishing on the Ottawa River in May 1993.
During those truly good years of his life he was living with Sylvie, and residing in Pointe-au-Chene, Quebec.

16

Ted visiting Mom and Dad in Pierrefonds in August 1993

17

August 19, 1998, saw Ted in Pierrefonds to celebrate his birthday.

18

The wood chain Ted carved in only 2 days back in August 2006

19

April 02, 2016, was the last occasion all 4 of us were together, which was for Mom's funeral service.
Left to right: Ted, Dan DaSilva, Don, Alan, Kathy

20

 

Ben and Catherine (Winnie's parents) learned that Ted was seriously ill with un-treatable lung cancer, and when they wisited their daughter Jen and family in Ottawa, Ben and Catherine also made time to travel from Ottawa to Hawkesbury to visit Ted.

   

This is the last known image of Ted (left), captured on or near February 22, 2018,

March 18 2018 was a beautiful sunny Saturday, because that morning Kie and I had driven to Utopia, Ontario, to visit David and family. About twenty minutes after arriving, I received a telephone call.

 

Ted's friend Robert was calling to inform me about the evening before, because Ted had been coughing up a lot of blood and his condition serious enough that paramedics had to be called in. Ted had refused to go to the hospital and from what I was hearing, the medics were able to get Ted's situation under control.

 

When Robert checked on Ted earlier that Saturday morning, he'd found Ted on the floor and cold. At some unknown time between Friday night and Saturday morning, Ted had passed away while he was alone.

 

Minutes after receiving that news, the coroner in Cornwall, Ontario, called to inform me that Ted had indeed passed away, but the date and time of his death uncertain. In my long discussion with the coroner, I mentioned that a few weeks earlier, Ted had insisted to me that he wanted to donate is body for medical research. Ted's wishes in this respect were carried out, and I'm grateful to the coroner for making that happen on short notice.

Soon after the coroner's call, the OPP called me, because Ted had died alone at home. As far as the OPP was concerned after their investigation, Ted's death was not deemed suspicious.

Ted was gone and his body was gone, and because he wanted no funeral or memorial, I've never found any sense of closure with his passing.

Truly as God's word says to us, "... our years come to an end like a sigh." (Psalm 90:9)

In loving memory of Ted, the older of my two younger brothers, and with whom I shared many wonderful, crazy, and fool-hardy adventures in life while we grew up together.

The Oddblock Station Agent

Hostilities Persist and A New Front Has Been Opened

Need more be said?

Back in early May my wife awakened me in the middle of the night because she'd been awaked by the sound of something gnawing in the attic. Not what I wanted to hear.

I had suspicions that rodents might be up there because I thought I'd heard something scamper across the ceiling a few weeks earlier. No further noises ensued so I concluded that I might've only heard birds on the roof.

Anyway, my wife was right because I heard the gnawing too. After determining where the noice was coming from, I rapped on the ceiling. The noise stopped and I slipped back into bed. As soon as my head hit the pillow, the rodent racket resumed. Again doing the same thing, I couldn't get the irritating pest to stop its chewing no matter how loud I knocked on the ceiling.

Determined to put a stop to the chewing, I slipped on a few clothes, grabbed a flashlight, went outside to retrieve my step-ladder from the storage shed and hoped I wouldn't awaken my neighbours. Minutes later I had the ladder set up beneath the access opening, readied the flashlight, shoved aside the door and went up.

Of course the gnawing stopped as soon as I'd opened the access, but I didn't see any little creatures staring back at me or running around. Closing up the attic access, I returned to bed. Mercifully sleep returned and all remained quiet for the remainder of the night.

The following morning I unwrapped a fresh rat trap, glued it to a piece of corrugated plastic white board, nailed it to a 4-ft strip of pine and ended up with what looked like a protest sign. Feeling inspired, I grabbed a black maker and made my sign look genuine.

After the glue was well-dried, I baited and set the trap, stepped to the top of the waiting ladder and rested the readied sign on the rafters. All I had to do now was wait.

I hadn't heard anything during the rest of the day and through the night, but curious the next morning, I checked the attic.

I wasn't expecting this...

May 11, 2022

My protest sign with the rat trap had caught a mouse... a pest I hadn't even considered might be present. Too, I didn't think a mouse was big enough to get snagged by a rat trap, nonetheless a dead rodent is a dead rodent which means one less uninvited intruder to deal with.

Again feeling inspired, I made a trip to the basement and made a second protest sign, using another rat trap because I didn't have a mouse trap.

After removing and disposing of the dead mouse, I baited the two traps, grabbed my two protests signs and placed them in the attic.

Around 11:00 p.m. my wife and I heard this loud thump like something had fallen on the roof, and then I realized a trap might have been sprung. Sure enough, another mouse, and judging from the sign it chose, I was wondering if the thing had been able to read.

May 12, 2022

I returned the freshly reset traps to the attic and kept checking them once a day, but no new casualties. At the same time, I wasn't hearing any unusual noises from the attic.

"Maybe they're gone." I began to believe, and wondered too if the traps should be removed, but...

"They're back!"

Unlike the movie from which this line has been borrowed, there's no "They." 

Only one pest has appeared, and it became another casualty.

July 07, 2022

Another month has since passed and the traps ready and are waiting, but thus far along, all remains quiet on the Pestered Front.

I'm hoping I've beaten the enemy back to well beyond the outside of the four walls of my home, but only time will tell.

They keep on coming!

This sign says rats but this was a mouse.

In case you're wondering, these traps are glued to that piece of whiteboard. Adding the writing was an after-thought.

Doing this supposedly makes escaping the trap more difficult, assuming the rodent isn't killed outright. And I know some aren't killed outright.

September 26, 2002, one of two caught ten minutes apart.

October 10, 2022, is Thanksgiving Day in Canada.
I'm thankful this dead rodent from my attic wasn't a rat.

The Oddblock Station Agent

Addendum November 30, 2022

It's that time of year again

And I wish it wasn't, because these determined nuisances have been attempting to move in to escape the coming winter.

Again I have checked around the outside of my house and I can't find any opening that would permit these pests access. This said, I live in a semi-detached building, thus I've asked my neighbour to screen-cover his rodent-accessible vents and check the other openings on his side, such as weep holes, and plug them. That can be done with galvanized 1/4" wire mesh.

He hasn't, but he's admitted to getting mice inside his home.

This far along, every mouse I've caught has been in the attic, which leads me to suspect they are coming through from next door.

November 24, 2022.
How ironic the first mouse that appears after Canadian Thanksgiving shows up today on the American Thanksgiving.

 

November 25, 2022

November 27, 2022. Mouse One

November 27, 2022. Mouse Two

Addendum April 25, 2023

No!

They're not cute

February 15, 2023

March 31, 2023

April 11, 2023