Last year I read this news item when it was news, and I laughed, (if you’re curious see link down there) only because my neighbour has a large walnut tree, and in all the prior 31 years I've never had a squirrel or walnut problem with my car.
https://www.powernationtv.com/post/man-finds-over-150-pounds-of-walnuts-hidden-in-his-truck
Year 32 reality check:
This image below was not from last year's news article nor from last year's news, because I recorded this image below on October 3, 2022, after checking under the hood... because I was hearing weird noises coming from the car's engine.
First thought: no one will ever believe this, even if I grab an image or two, so I asked Kie to come out and see for herself what I'd discovered and wish I hadn't... but now I have a witness.
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| SURPRISE! I can't print what I thought at first, but it wasn't all that much. |
This is the stuff one is supposed to read online in those sensational news items, not real-life discover in one's own car parked in the driveway. Now I've experienced both the news reader's perspective as well as the rodent victim's perspective, and I can tell you the latter is...
ALVIN!!!
So there.
I've just lived my very own Alvin moment, but then I remembered that Alvin is a chipmunk and not that noisy, prime suspect red squirrel I’d been seeing around here.
Close enough though.
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| A close-up of the left side |
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| Close-up of the right side |
NUTS!
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| The day's final tally |
A useful tidbit about an amazing tool...
That forked item resting atop the walnuts will extend to about 30 inches, because it's made for roasting wieners, marshmallows, or whatever, over a fire.
I've never used this tool for roasting anything (I wish I had a squirrel right now) but it's perfect for skewering walnuts deep down in those impossible to reach into recesses of a car engine.
If you ever need one of these forks, you can obtain it from Lee Valley Tools.
Four days later and a new headache
On October 7th morning, Kie and I were driving to a nearby food store for groceries and we passed by a crew working on the road. Afterward, we both smelled something burning so we assumed the source must’ve been the roadwork.
When we reached the store, we still smelled burning, so I parked the car well away from other vehicles and donned the pair of work gloves I keep on board.
Upon opening the hood I was expecting the possibility of finding more walnuts, but not this...
The top of the car engine had been stuffed and covered with rodent nesting now smoldering, which I pulled away as some of it burst into flame.
Fortunately disaster was avoided and nothing under the hood was damaged.
Upon discovering this cache of grass, rags, paper and shredded insulation, I was inclined to believe the culprit behind this new mess is a rat rather than a squirrel.
October 9th and Rodent Interrupted...
Two days later I discovered the pest had returned to begin again, and a large patch of the car’s hood insulation had been shredded and spread.
As well, more grass was replaced by that 4-footed pest and would-be car arsonist.
Food for thought: Why does that stuff up there look like something one would get at a health-food store?
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| No, this isn't some strange NASA image of the lunar surface, because it's the rodent-shredded insulation on the inside of the hood of my vehicle. |
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| Here's another view that places the damage into perspective. |
October 10th
A strange turn of events... and a very welcomed one at that.
By now I’d figured out that I should be checking under the hood every day… just in case.
Sure enough when I checked, I discovered what appeared at first to be more shredded fluff, until I noticed the red part and looked more closely.
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A dead rat wedged in the engine. |
I really wish I knew what caused that wound and killed this pest… ‘cause it works!
Maybe it ended up slicing itself open on that exposed wire. Might’ve been the loser in a turf-war with the red squirrel.
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Here’s that dead rat (gored-side down on the ground) after I removed it. |
This thing was eight inches (tail not included) and dwarfed the rat traps I’d set, thus leaving me wondering whether or not today’s rat traps are big enough to handle the job they’re supposed to do.
Through the ensuing four weeks I set out 4 rat traps beside and under the front of the car but only caught one additional large rat and a single mouse.
What I have learned through trial and frustration is that rats can remove the bait without triggering the trap. I now reset the traps with fresh bait which I’ve glued to the triggers and now the rats shun the traps. They’re certainly not a stupid adversary.
I’ve also discovered that rat traps are really good for catching mice… and one size really does fit all.
And the Beating Goes On…
That probably should be, “And the Beat Goes On” but for goof-order* let’s include the gerund.
Every time I think I’ve found and removed the last of the walnuts, I find more of them. It drives me… might as well just say nuts.
*(That up there was a typo, but goof-order probably makes more sense than good-order, so I’ve left it as is)
October 12 , 2022
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Here are a few more walnuts I discovered in the dark, lower recesses of the engine and then extricated.
Anyway, if you’re curious and would like something to do, you could count these for me, because I lost count after reaching 3 dozen while I was busy extricating them. |
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| Some of the 21 additional walnuts I found and extracted this day. |
Would I be labelled an insensitive anti-wildlife extremist criminal and cursed at if I said I hated rodents?
Of course I would in this foolish, woke-ravaged insane society we dwell in today.
Well too bad, because I detest seeing rats and mice running around outside of my home, and I'll do whatever I need to do to work at exterminating those hated pests.
La Pièce de Résistance
Seeing that the Christmas season is almost upon us once again, I’ve decided to change a few lines in that old chestnut of a song to make it a little more fitting for this tome. After all, the song starts out with nuts.
Thus for the record, I’m of course referring to that familiar old Mel Tourme song known best as, “Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire”
Therefore…
If you know the tune, and you’re in the mood for singing, then feel free to sing along with these relevant new alternations.
Walnuts roasting under open hood
And with rodents one and two
Curbside curses being said by a few
With neighbours certain he’s nuts too.
(Enough… so’ we’ll just press pause here and come back in at the ending)
And so, I'm asking you this simple thing
To all from one to ninety-two.
Although it's not phrased many ways many times
I hate rodents. Do you?
(Sorry Mel)
Merry Christmas to all, and to all, a rodent-free good night!
The Oddblock Station Agent
